Forums: Community: Blue Skies - In Memory Of: Re: [karenmeal] In Memory of Josh Whipple: Edit Log


SkyDaemon  (D 28704)

Feb 13, 2005, 11:14 PM

Views: 3377
Re: [karenmeal] In Memory of Josh Whipple

Josh's sense of humor was a great one. That comic is right up his alley. I could almost see him being the author.

His understanding of the human psyche was so intense that he was able to coalesce the nature of human existence and turn it into humor. I'll always remember his amazing sense of humor. He was quick too. He was able to listen carefully to what was said, process it, understand it, and provide poetically tailored response. I remember more than once wishing I could speak as eloquently as he could, not because I wanted to make the world a better place, but because it was some of the best humor I'd ever experienced.

Josh was a skilled orator... soft spoken, quiet and in many ways shy, but what he lacked in quantity of words he made up for (in spades) in quality. I'll miss the conversations we had, walking around the city, hiking to an exit point, or next to a barrel at a pub playing darts. (He was one hell of a darts player... ;-)

All friendships develop their own rapport. Maybe it's as simple as a set of inside jokes based on experience, or maybe it's words that you've made up together, or maybe it's an exchange style (straight-man and cut-up ala Abbot & Costello), but over time friends develop some kind of signature rapport. It's a source of affirmation of the friendship, and the rapport becomes a source of pride that defines what makes the team great. If you examine how you talk to your true friends... not your acquaintances, but your true friends, you'll likely find you can have entire conversations in a few words.

Friends come to depend on the rapport they establish with each other. They count on it, and in the absence of their friend they find that the 'air' is missing something... it's missing their obvious responses, comebacks, cues, and triggers. It would be as though one day you woke up to find your dominant hand missing... would you still reach out with the stub of your arm out of habit? How long would it take to adapt and to remember that it's missing?

Josh was a lot of things to a lot of people. He was a son to his mother, a teacher and inspiration to many, and a friend to a chosen few. I'm doing my best to come to terms with the loss, but I offer my deepest sympathies to those who will see his empty seat at their dinner table. To those who will wonder where he is, when he should be arriving any moment for their weekly ritual pub trip. How soon until the manifest remembers that he's not going to be working there anymore, that he isn't sleeping in, he's just not there. The fact that the world has lost Josh is going to require all those who knew him to adapt to the -fact- that he is gone... and that'll likely involve the stages of the grieving process, but it's going to be those conspicuous absences that none of us have even considered yet that are going to be the hardest (I think).

I think the hardest part for me is going to be that I never got to say "good bye". But, you know no one gets advanced warning. None of us know when our next CRW jump will be our last, or that we might "get off" our motorcycles at 70mph, or go sleep and just not wake up.

Life is too short to live as though we have all the time the universe. There's not enough time to hold grudges, time to put off telling those we care for that we care for them, time to pretend that we can solve a quarrel later. What if your best friend died tomorrow... how would you feel about the way things had gone? What do you wish you'd told them? Why haven't you? Maybe it's just my emotions talking, but why are people so scared to tell their friends how important and loved they are?

I once asked Josh who his friends were... whose lives had he made better. He had an answer. Not a cliche, or some form of evasion, but a real answer that I'm sure he thought through before I'd asked him. I also asked him who in his life considered him a friend. Who were the people who knew him, faults and all, and accepted, understood, and loved him anyways. He also had an answer... He knew and was willing to talk about who he considered close to him. It was an intense conversation which involved analysis and sharing -good- things about people when they weren't around. I think he died knowing he'd made many people's lives better, and that many people cared about him... his reasons for what he did are far more complex than can be explained in a post on "dropzone dot com" and it wouldn't be appropriate to even begin to address those reasons here. It would be disrespectful to even try...

<sighs>

I'm waxing emotional, and I'm continuing to ramble. If anyone needs to talk, please feel free to email me: 787@e-raist.com
As much as you can during these hard times: Be Well.

-=Raistlin


(This post was edited by SkyDaemon on Feb 13, 2005, 11:43 PM)


Edit Log:
Post edited by SkyDaemon () on Feb 13, 2005, 11:18 PM
Post edited by SkyDaemon () on Feb 13, 2005, 11:19 PM
Post edited by SkyDaemon () on Feb 13, 2005, 11:21 PM
Post edited by SkyDaemon () on Feb 13, 2005, 11:43 PM


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